Crushing Self Belief – Tuesday 23rd july 2019

Crushing Self Belief

i have never had –
that crushing self belief
the one –
that can bend teeth
and dish out, hard meat
the one –
that can raise armies
who fight –
with a lick of something charming

i have never felt –
i was destined for one goal
or that my life –
was a fruit machine with only one hold
i have never had –
that crushing self belief
the kind –
that unsettles feet
the one –
that hard irons the sheets

i am reduced
always to approval or acceptance
that was the computer program
my parents typed
i am reduced –
to low wattage lights
on feverous alternative nights
i have never had
that crushing self belief






James Garartt – Tuesday 23rd July 2019