i do not feel like anyone at the moment
not until wounds have healed
and i have learnt that i must accept me
she comes and goes
as a gap that i cannot fill

check –
that i am not bored
that is not a horror film
that i need to fast forwards
hold another woman
not sure where it is going

i am a shy person
dancing clumsily in the spotlight
i am a frightened person
searching for the next high

i try to be honest
and talk about who i am
i see a flash in their eyes
but i do not know if they understand

it would be good
if someone came along
knew not just the chorus
but the whole song

i have searched for comfort
for too long
in the wrong places
with the wrong faces

got through a weekend
where the bells rang too loud
where i clung to friends
and got lost in crowds

it would be lovely –
to wake up in bed
with someone lying –
next to me

i feel like i have lost you
before i ever got to know you
and even though –
i do not know you