Hod Carrier – Written December 2019 (Aged 44)

Hod Carrier

could i carry myself better
if perhaps
hills were not so steep
if i did not act as a labourer
and dig up my street
could i perform with a degree of aplomb
if my ultimate success
was not wired like a bomb
could not give myself away
if perhaps
they had packed the hamper yesterday
but i have laboured
too long on destruction
i had a grand design for my self esteem
but never gave myself permission for construction
i am always
part of a gap
the eternal hod carrier
carrying bricks upon my back
as sweat and tears
hold me to ransom
and threaten to drown my years
with its sidekick
of fostered fear
could i carry myself better
if perhaps
i had mastered every pavement
and learned to dance through every crack
maybe then i would have been the little soldier
rising up through the ranks




More poems at
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/



James Garratt – December 2019