Sailing Away on Final Breaths – Written Wednesday 22nd January 2020 (aged 44)

Sailing Away on Final Breaths

i am left confused and conflicted –
by my father’s death
having stood and watched,
as he sailed away on his final breaths

our relationship now, ‘complete’
but i know,
the puzzle will never be neat
and i am here,
confused and conflicted
and the tiredness,
is hurriedly putting posters up in my eyes
it tells me, i must improvise
but i do not know what to say
and i do not know what to feel
i attempt to make a mixture out of memories
but it just starts to congeal
i try to create a preserve out of feelings
but the taste, well it is not so appealing
i am left confused and conflicted –
by my father’s death
we never fully understood the family tree
let alone what came next,
we were the domestic cleaners,
unwillingly employed, cleaning up the mess

i am confused and conflicted
i am worn out,
and a slave to pure emotional duress
and unexpected death like this ,
others a sandpaper like caress




James Garratt – Wednesday 22nd January 2020


More poems at 
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/


More about this blog, The Boy Behind the Glasses, here
 https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/2020/01/08/the-boy-behind-the-glasses-an-introduction/


More poems from 2020 here 
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/category/poems-and-writing-2020/