Not Really – Written January 2012 (Aged 36)

Not Really

i say i am, ‘all right’
but i am not
but nonetheless,
i say i am
because,
the world keeps on moving
and how can people understand
and,
when i say i am not,
i just mean, i am coping
but when i think of mum
i get so scared
realising that part of me has to deal –
with her not being here anymore
so perhaps,
i am, ‘all right’
i mean, in context
even if grief strangles us too tight
i am not, ‘okay’
not really
but there is much to carry on for
but.. it is just, everything has changed
and it is a very different future




James Garratt – January 2012


More poems at
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/


More about this blog, The Boy Behind the Glasses, here
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/2020/01/08/the-boy-behind-the-glasses-an-introduction/


More poems from 2012 here
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/category/poems-and-writing-2012/