Structures and Foundations – Written Wednesday 23rd March 2023 (Aged 48)

Structures and Foundations

i do wish they’d looked after me as a child
alcohol and mental illness,
events i never saw,
or sometimes never knew of
all conspired against my childhood
the structures were never there
two parents,
who could never reliably care
and i never asked my dad –
if he thought he had been a good dad
either i did not need the answer –
or i did not want the answer
or perhaps part of me –
just did not want to put him in that place
his domination diminished over time
and in the end, fear did not even have a taste
and mum…
so sharp –
but so affected by blunt force emotions
and abuse,
no excuse,
love poured out of her but so did shame
and she looked for perfection in sociopaths
time and time again
i do wish they had looked after me as a child
because so much of it at best,
was odd….
and if maybe if they had looked after me
adulthood would not have been this uphill slog




James Garratt – Wednesday 23rd March 2023


More poems at
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https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/2020/01/08/the-boy-behind-the-glasses-an-introduction/


More poems from 2023 here
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/category/poems-and-writing-2023/