the madness creeps in
it has no end
but it knows where to begin

the tears cannot plug the gaps
or even fill the obvious cracks
they cannot even wash away the pain
and it feels like,
we will never be able to live them again

this is thirty something
the past has been hung
it was tried and convicted
before it had barely begun

i never told you
because it is not an answer
it is just my two left feet
trying to perform

do not break my heart
no one saw me –
wipe my eyes
no one saw me –

i am sitting here
watching from the deck
i am thinking of you
as we plunge to the icy depths

you have started to talk in past tense
we has become i
and every sentence –
comes with a silent goodbye

could we move forwards
could i find something real
they are the breathless pause