I Worked On My Intelligence

I Worked On My Intelligence

i worked on my intelligence
no engineer
could pull me near
and stop the seeping leaking fear
the loss of vital tears

i worked on my disorders
i counted them out
i gave them labels
and placed them in an order

i worked on my psychology
whilst patrolling my borders

i worked on my narcissism
i thought about me
the effect was rippling
but it had barely hid my lack of self esteem

i worked on my intelligence
because i had no other way
and for a self diagnosed creative
how ironic, i had no ideas
no doctors out there,
to pull me near
no well timed navigators
to draw me navigational charts
i had to hold onto the mast
and now, we have to find a safe space
just to share the past

James Garratt – August 2018