Losing Faith Part 2 – Written December 1992 (Aged 17)

Losing Faith

Losing faith
in the world we live on,
losing faith
in everything I’ve got.
A distorted reality
lives in my head —
I’m afraid of living,
not being dead.
I look around:
insanity wears a crown,
just open your eyes
and look around.
Losing faith
in all my strange morals,
even starting
to question my feelings.
My eyes fix
on the fuzzy
television screen —
chaos,
she is queen,
and she’s created
a terrible scene.
Maybe I’m a weird boy
with a bleak outlook,
a bleak outlook
on everything.
Last night,
when I flew,
I saw distorted shapes,
heard
heartbroken screams.
Was it just the demon
lurking inside me?
Or the one
inside all of you?
Losing faith
in my familiar dreams —
no screams,
just people
who simply exist there.
Losing faith
in this nightmare,
losing faith
in those who think
they’re always right.
All I can do
is lay awake
at night.

James Garratt – December 1992

More poems at
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/

More about this blog, The Boy Behind the Glasses, here
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/2020/01/08/the-boy-behind-the-glasses-an-introduction/

More poems from 1992 here
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/category/poems-and-writing-1992/