Really Growing – Written Between January and June 1995 (Aged 20)

Really Growing

i came here tonight
because it is better than being at home
i walked away because i just did
what else could i do?
i could not stand –
to be within forty miles of you
how dare your friends question me
they are locked into a different world
one that is not very old
she is an, ‘immature bitch’
and i hope it gets very cold
i came here to get away from all that
can i cry on my own?
or can i give you my key?
i came here tonight –
and although i am so far away –
you mean everything to me
i don’t feel i need to say your name
i am feeling angry, hurt and pressurised
i am chewing glass
feel like i have been cut down to size
it has got to better than all this
if i am to spend any time here at all
i will not perch like an unwanted waxwork –
whilst i melt and hurt
i am pretty lucky, i am only twenty
i am free, and i can still make things work
just come along,
i came here, all because i wrote a poem
and like me, it is only young
but give it a little time and it will be really growing




James Garratt – January to June 1995


More poems at
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/


More about this blog, The Boy Behind the Glasses, here
 https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/2020/01/08/the-boy-behind-the-glasses-an-introduction/ 


More poems from 1995 here
 https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/category/poems-and-writing-1995/