Learning The Value of Context – Written November 2022 (Aged 47)

Learning The Value of Context

i feel guilty
when it comes to being proud of myself
it goes like this…
if i feel proud –
then feeling proud could lead to dangerous ideas
ideas like –
i am special
but hold on,
i cannot be special
that was repeatedly illustrated to me as a child
if i am too proud
then i automatically think,
i am too full of myself
and humility fits everyone
and what if,
i start to believe in my own hype
am i just showing off
and eventually, will i just full off my bike
in my head, that is how i goes
as i have got older, i realise what i am missing
it is those life skills,
the ones that help you with perspective
and putting things into context
a disrupted upbringing
leads to emotional extremes
and that is how you think
when important attachments are not nurtured
so, i can be proud of this moment
of this achievement
and with hard fought experience
i can place this in context
which means i am not running too fast
and struggling to catch my breath
be proud, be proud, be proud
remember, you have done your best
as someone i loved very much used to say
now, keep strong, and remember the context

James Garratt – November 2022

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More about this blog, The Boy Behind the Glasses, here

More poems from 2022 here

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