The Umbrella Boy – Written Monday 20th March 2023 (Aged 48)

The Umbrella Boy

my fear –
the moment where any room can spin
and i sink into the floor,
that is the fear –
the fear of not being enough
and yet –
i am compelled through my own tragedies
to try and be enough
that is how it was with mum
as much as i loved her
and as much as her not being here
is the wound that will never heal
that constant disappointment
is what chases me, catches me and then kills
that is my fear
the feeling of always trying to make it better
but knowing that you never can
and knowing that you should not be trying to
but that is my own tragedy
and that was my early life training
i was always the umbrella boy
every time it was raining




James Garratt – Monday 20th March 2023


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https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/2020/01/08/the-boy-behind-the-glasses-an-introduction/


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https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/category/poems-and-writing-2023/