These Better Days – Written Tuesday 21st March 2023 (Aged 48)

These Better Days

i do not look back to the past
and its history
and think –
that was better
no, not at all
i look back and think –
emotionally,
mentally,
something of me survived
and it’s not really about surviving
because the sum of the root square
is the thriving
but i do wonder
how did she love me?
when i was so ill equipped
and so unskilled
maybe that is part of it all
i know now –
despite being married once
we do not talk at all
but i still look back –
to my past and my history
and think –
for all the stories, for all the truths –
the lies,
and the, ‘stuff’, inside –
i did thrive
and some shame and guilt eagerly stays
but i thrived,
and now i benefit from these better days
even with such scarring inside




James Garratt – Tuesday 21st March 2023


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https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/2020/01/08/the-boy-behind-the-glasses-an-introduction/


More poems from 2023 here
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/category/poems-and-writing-2023/