Blind Date – Written Friday 8th December 1995 (Aged 20)

Blind Date

I thought I had found a stairway
that led me to you.
Why are you here, so peculiar?
This stairway was cold stone;
unfortunately it led nowhere in particular,
and this left me at the top with nowhere to go.

I was all alone —
nowhere to go, whistling into nothing.
I can’t believe that after all this time,
and after everything,
I can’t accept we are nothing.
That’s too near the knuckle.

And as I reached the top of this stairway,
I am sure I heard a hollow chuckle.

I have always fitted in with your desires,
but knowing that I can’t be what I want to be for you
leads me to a stairway
with too much expectation as I near the top.

I am almost on a high, then I am down;
I just want to go on and never stop.

You never have to do much;
you can do what you can.
But I am angry — even if I have no right to be —
but I am.

I am jealous of who you are seeing;
I’ve no right to be, but I am.

James Garratt – Friday 8th December 1995

More poems at
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/

More about this blog, The Boy Behind the Glasses, here
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/2020/01/08/the-boy-behind-the-glasses-an-introduction/

More poems from 1995 here
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/category/poems-and-writing-1995/