i loved you,
but you just loved being loved by me
i poured out my heart like an egg timer
i poured it into an endless cup for you

most of what i have now become
is made up –
of the things i broke when i was young

you cannot make people happy
if discontentment is ingrained
like a stick of rock
written through with the word pain

and i am drowning –
in my own naivety
and i am drunk –
on my own immaturity

i have met a deluge of people –
in my life
many have told me –
they are right

people –
caught in the swell
and feelings –
of their own values

i look back on younger me
with my mental health
and threads of toxicity