they have watched me
become hopelessly devoted
and become quite erratic
but they do not set me at ease

for someone i am so close to
i actually know so little,
for someone i love dearly

do you remember the attack ?
when my belief was smashed
and childhood was put on the rack

i have tried to run a marathon
with my laces tied
i have tried to laugh
when i should have cried

i wish you had not left
and i wish you had stayed
but in amongst the mess
the one that i have made

maybe you are beautiful
maybe i can save myself
find the potential,
that i thought had passed onto somebody else

loving you is too much
and it is a one way street
a closed road,v when i could be using my feet
i cannot keep on idolising you
putting other goddesses to one side

someone called me sweetheart
and my heart began to melt
I wondered to myself
how i truly felt
gripped by affection

the tears and tantrums
the endless and unrelently
emotional demons
that no one could ever meet
the child like maturity