they said
‘make love happen’
and,
that, ‘cupid’
had signed up

my subscription fee-
has cost me
two bucket loads –
of my self esteem
and four jugfuls –
of my dreams

i am not not perfect
and if there was a god
god knows,
i am worth it

perhaps when i was young
and my age –
ended in the word, ‘teen’
perhaps i felt
i did not deserve me

not sure what you want
or what you need
i think when it comes to it –
it is easier
for you to push people away

thank you –
for sharing your illness with me…
it almost –
drove me, ‘mad’ too!
i thought, ah, love
but that never came true

when the oven –
no longer cook?
when did the lover –
stop taking a look?
when did the calendar –
run out of dates?

i know
they are like stepping stones
but someone
needs to guide me home
this life
has become a battleground

it does not need –
to be complicated
have we not
grown out of this stage
have we not –
moved through that phase