You Tore Out Pages

You Tore Out Pages

there is too much hurt
in my bones
to travel to your celebration
and watch you on a throne

from a film
we never finished watching
back in the day
to lost and found contact
and a closeness that almost found a way

you should be
one of my very closest friends
but you tore out pages
of a story before it could end

and now,
that should be a celebration
of our lives and our friends
feels so empty
the calamity has been stripped
my bones still ache
my eyes still sore

apologies will always arrive late
the past, something you cannot deny
celebrate when,
the knowing that yourself
beats anything
found in our past


James Garratt – June 2018