Envy – Written September 2017 (Aged 42)

Envy

they did well
with the surface
no inward chat though
i envy them in one breath
but in the next –
so evaporates my regrets
i was never –
that kind of social actor
so in retrospect
it does not matter
it is a large gin and tonic
bottles of wine
it is body changing
life shaming, it will be fine
it is middle age
different chapter,
mellowed page
it is all about the children –
kind of phase
but not me,
not that anyone takes that blame
because blame is not the right word
just the way the wires crossed
how unrealistic fantasy
hopefully got lost
how made up reality
revealed its budget and final cost
they did well
as one of the bland and the faceless many
i caught myself, half heartedly
nursing a kind of eny




James Garratt – September 2017


More poems at
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/


More about this blog, The Boy Behind the Glasses, here
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/2020/01/08/the-boy-behind-the-glasses-an-introduction/


More poems from 2017 here
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/category/poems-and-writing-2017/

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s