Sell Out (Memories Not So Bright) – Written November 1994 (Aged 19)

Sell Out (Memories Not So Bright)

and i cried –
remembering cine film of yesterday
being five
getting a train set for my birthday
repairing my glasses, so i could see
i remember thinking, we had left dad
but really, he had left me
except that i did not realise that –
till i was much older
and he had made my life so much colder
i have come such a long way
i am so much better than yesterday
i remember being nine
what a strange time
finding myself, screaming in pain
growing with what i need
mum working every hour she could
and some more
just so we could live and eat
getting my first pair of proper trainers
just to clothe my feet
i always remember the t.v.
jamie and the magic torch
swap shop and tiswas too
getting into touble, getting caught
not understanding things,
not knowing what to do
dad, my love cannot be bought
you have never worked it out, have you
and when i cried into my pillow at night
being let down, lost and not found
happiness not around
in memories the sun is meant to shine
and although in many ways it does
but in many, it is not so bright

James Garratt – November 1994

More poems at

More about this blog, The Boy Behind the Glasses, here

More poems from 1994 here

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