Many Seem Like a Ghost – Written Thursday 14th September 2006 (Aged 31)

James Garratt,

Many Seem Like a Ghost

i have never been very good at just being me…
it’s not a lack of confidence
or even a lack of self belief
i think it’s that desire for privacy
that’s always been there quietly underneath
i have never been very good at just being me…
a joke or two,
something always to say,
but comfort in who i want to be
seems to have got lost on the way
when being me, was something for sure,
perhaps it was a prize that was too dear to pay
i have never found many people who accept you
just for who you are
certainly many people just seem like ghosts
so when i have found those that matter
i have always made sure i’ve kept them close
i have never been very good at just being me..
i suspect that is partly why i write is all down
because, then, it’s just there, for all to see
because i have never been very good at just being me…




James Garratt – Thursday 14th September 2006


More poems at
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/


More about this blog, The boy Behind the Glasses, here
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/2020/01/08/the-boy-behind-the-glasses-an-introduction/


More poems from 2006 here
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/category/poems-and-writing-2006/

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Published by James Garratt

I am a 40 something sometime writer. I live in the South West of the UK but originally I am from Essex.

14 Comments

    1. Hopefully 🙂 I think you spend a lot of life fighting with yourself. My FOMO also means I have a tendency to dwell on the what if… It can be strange getting to your 30’s ticking the life boxes as you’re expected to and then thinking, is this it? What’s next? Am I meant to feel contentment, what does it mean to be me… I’ve found as I’ve got older those questions don’t apply because I’ve found ways to be me or be comfortable or life experience has sobered me up 🙂

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  2. Again, incredible piece, James! I really admire your vulnerability. I love reading your work as who you were back then, at that age, and what your mindstate was like. One of the things we lose in life, and that I feel like we don’t talk about enough is the mindstate that is lost as we grow older. Seeing how you used to think back in the day, what even you had gone through, is surely super interesting. I am very honored that I get to learn about you in that sense!

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    1. That’s a very very kind thing to say.  I completely agree, I be been wrestling a bit with that lately about minds state who we were.  There are feelings about some of my older writing that I almost wish I had now, a sense of fearlessness and boldness that you do lose as you get older.  You gain much as you grow older but lose stuff along the way. I look back on my previous mind states with a mixture of horror and fascination :).   I think if I had t got my writing and someone said to me, your mind state has changed so much over the last twenty years I would have probably aid, yes, but not that much, I’ve always been me.  Actually reading my stuff, I think it’s far more than that and I think you’re so governed by your environment often without realising it. What  I mean by that is that you’re often far more reactive when you realise.   It’s why looking back and certain events, if feels almost crazy that you behaved as you did.  I don’t think we live in the moment, we live in the environment.  

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      1. “I don’t think we live in the moment, we live in the environment.” Wow, I need that quote on my wall somewhere. I’m going to put this quote in my list of favorite quotes. Your mind is simply fascinating, James! Thank you immensely for sharing your thoughts with the world. I agree with everything that you said. I also don’t think we change much.

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