the one that got away
it is the one i think of
i was always eager to fish
but my bait was only ever chance
and i was left too many times
looking for a meaningful dance

i should have realised
and then it mattered, held you near
i had to tell you
that i am still dreaming
and i am still a ship, still sailing

i want to hate you,
it would be easier,
i want to rip you to shreds
take sweeter days,
away from my memory bed,

i am afraid
for those with statistics,
readers, friends, money
and the people who have supported them

i let myself down
i have been frustrated for years
looking for a voice
there had to be a reason for all those tears
i let myself down

the churchman turned,
turned woman into an issue of god
the lawyer turned,
turned money into a big house

your lazy heartbeat
it does not understand
how the lazy feel
it must have skipped school
because mine skips a beat

you all laughed at my jokes
but, the joke is on me
you are wood in my spokes
but, i will not cycle on
not till you have gone

it is not what you said,
more what you did not say
that is what gave you away
you claims were lofty, just like a skyscraper
but one that always had an uneasy sway