This Feels Hard Going – Written July 2012 (Aged 36)

This Feels Hard Going

i am trying to hold it together
but it feels hard going
should my grief be moving on
calling time at the bar
there is no doctor that would not –
acknowledge the hole in my heart
i cannot seem to do right –
for doing wrong
i dream of a good night’s sleep
but where is my moment –
for me to breakdown
i am made to feel useless
as i did as a child
when i was a small time hunter
with a self belief that run wild
and would you like to know
that some days i can barely believe
i have got through them
surely someone noticed
how much of a mess i am
just trying to hold it all together

James Garratt – July 2012

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