Never Know What I Want – Written Approx. Late 1993 or January 1994 (Aged 18)

Never Know What I Want

I never know
what I want
until I have
lost it.

Wanted you,
then saying no;
wanting them,
but time
to go.

You are trying
to catch
my attention,
but it is me
using you
like an addiction.

And when
I apologise,
you do not realise
the harm done—
which makes me
feel worse,
because you show
trust in me,
and all I have done
is hurt you.

I feel for you,
so much.
I see your face
in my mind,
and I dream
of your touch—
just like
an electric chance.

It is contact
between two auras,
and the dissolving
of the mask.


James Garratt – 1993/1994

More poems at
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More poems from 1993 and 1994 here
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/category/poems-and-writing-1993/ https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/category/poems-and-writing-1994/