Previous Versions of Me – Written Monday 15th November 2021 (Aged 46)

Previous Versions of Me

is it wrong or unusual to confront –
previous versions of yourself?
to then feel guilt or shame
and a wish that you’d been somebody else
or even just somewhere else
i know now that every bump in the road
is a cry for help
and every breakdown
was due to a faulty belt
that every ice cold winter
was me waiting –
for the thaw and the snow to melt
previous versions of me
looking faulty,
warning stickers saying,
do not operate this manually
it was me who needed to change their scenery
but give me greenbelt land
come on, just a little greenery
the voices, both inside and outside –
they used to be a cacophony
self punishment, a constant reality
i do carry some guilt and shame
as previous versions of me wait in the shadows
and lurk down my own, personal, memory lane

James Garratt – Monday 15th November 2021

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More poems from 2021 here

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