The Final – Written Thursday 9th January 2025 (Aged 49)

The Final

i thought (foolishly) I was in the final,
but now…
i do not know.
maybe, maybe it was a final —
but perhaps it was for a different show.

and you know,
i thought i had my act —
rehearsed, down to a tee.
but now…
i am left to wonder if i was ever really me.

honestly,
i thought i was in the final,
you know, having done quite well.
i thought i had moved forwards —
well…

clearly i was seduced by the false applause,
and now, my behind-the-scenes tell
is that of finding myself
in some trauma-infused sparkly hell.

and i thought…
i thought the public vote had gone so well.
but now i do not know…

on reflection, it is clear i was not in the final —
or even in the correct show.
i was deluded by praise,
and the artificial nature of its soft, warm glow.

what does this say
about my old, reliable ego?
i thought i was in the final,
but in reality,
it was the worst kind of reality show.

James Garratt – Thursday 9th January 2025

More poems at
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https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/2020/01/08/the-boy-behind-the-glasses-an-introduction/

More poems from 2025
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/category/poems-and-writing-2025/