whilst i leave myself wide open
or is it the heady fumes of self perception
am i the person
they see as a target
is that the heady fumes of delusion

that is the true magic trick learnt
your role,
your event,
your place,
your face,
let them project manage your fate

looking back
over my life
it has been, ’emotional’
it has required buckets
i never thought i had
teardrops
i can easily catch

i am not that type of madness anymore
it stopped when the clocks
started working once more
when i shuffled direct debits
and mortgage payments found my door

i do look at other people
and wonder how they cope
i looked at someone recently
and wonder to myself
had they ever found conclusions

margins of error
or just margins
and ruled lines
which seem to have faded over time
i wrote it all down
even though the pages
have begun to colour in yellows and browns