i am dying inside
dare i say it,
torn from limb to limb
where do i begin?

solitude has pulled up a chair
and lent forwards, just to be near
it asks me, why do i cry

desperation will haunt these eyes
if i do not get this job
we have sat on the cliff
and we have gone to the top

and when you pull up,
at life’s toll booth
it will not be hugs all round
you will be asked for payment
and you will be searching for that pound

i have never lost belief in myself
and i have never been so unsure
that i do not know who i am
occasionally, i have lost the way

do i resign myself
or feels bad
if normal is the majority
then i will be on my own

there is no disease
that let’s me fall down
to my knees and apologise
i am just me
it is my responsibility

it is so happy
that there is nothing to say
happy is not bright
it is bland, if not quite grey

these beaches
are the peaches
on which i feast