The Children We Never Had

The Children We Never Had

i would have had the children
that we talked about
i had notions of settling down
and us sharing a future
i would have liked us…
to have reached or got close
to the finishing line
and for a long time
i really blamed myself
i thought, maybe, If I…
maybe if I was less like me
all these things could work
and could, could just be
i wanted to settle down
be the Dad I have dreamed of
and to be truly loved
but I could not save us
and i cannot save you
you do not understand
just how much I loved you
and though you look for excuses
to deny it even existed 
it will always be true to me
always and always


James Garratt – Saturday 7th November 2009