The Lock on My Childhood Gate (Originally Untitled) – Written Thursday 12th January 2017 (Aged 41)

The Lock on My Childhood Gate

whenever i see a father –
hug their son
i am always, always slightly undone
whenever i see a father –
who is proud
there is always a voice of longing in me
even if the words are not very loud
why not me?
and i think
is that is why i feel so differently
because without parental acceptance
what hope is their for stability
trust will falter,
and you will miss it completely
just be proud of what i am
it was never that complicated
no solutions, just hands
no rocket ships
no need to completely understand
just be proud
and then, then when that longing voice in me
with words not so loud
it will finally become a device
which speaks over the darker thought clouds
i could have done with that
a hug, a chance
not the alcoholic who anger was always full fat
look at me and my mental state
i am a victim of cruel luck
and bittersweet tastes,
i guess you words of, ‘well done’
will continue to wait
and i will be here, always,
as i struggle with the lock on my childhood gate




James Garratt – Thursday 12th January 2017


More poems at
  https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/


More about this blog, The Boy Behind the Glasses, here
 https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/2020/01/08/the-boy-behind-the-glasses-an-introduction/


More poems from 2017 here
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/category/poems-and-writing-2017/

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