I Failed- Written Monday 27th February 1995 (Aged 20)

I Failed

you give me the worse feelings
i have known anyone who has been raped
locked in the painful place
from which there is no escape
what right does anyone have
to sentence some like that
i said i would always be there for you
and when it came down to it,
i could not, i actually hated myself
you wanted to hold me
i tried my best to make it mean something
but really, it meant nothing
there was nothing i could do
i actually hated myself
almost as much as the people who had done it to you
i went home, just had to be on my own
i called but to no avail
i know you were in total pain
and that i had failed
i am so sorry, please forgive me
words seem so inadequate
i wanted to be perfect for you,
i really wanted to be
what can i give to you that will make it better
i cannot set you free
believe me, i wish i could
but i am a failure and not too good
i am sorry for the night,
you gave me the worst feelings
make me wonder if i am someone i like
i am so sorry, i wish i could change everything
i really wish i could
i wish i could give you the love you need
and stop the forever bleed




James Garratt – Monday 27th February 1995


More poems at
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https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/2020/01/08/the-boy-behind-the-glasses-an-introduction/


More poems from 1995 here
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/category/poems-and-writing-1995/