Reckoning (Part 2) – Written Thursday 28th April 2022 (Aged 47)

Reckoning (Part 2)

was i just toxic
and was i –
just dressing my toxicity up –
in what i thought –
was more appealing clothes
why did i not see my toxic nature
it was there –
right in front of my nose
and i did little to let it go
but now i see the future
and i know it is beckoning
but all these current years
feel like a healthy reckoning
and now i have to accept
former years –
that lacked a healthy respect
this is more than i could expect
i have found some success
and i have found some achievement
even as realisations of a former me
invades a sense of bereavement
now i must find my best
was i toxic?
i think i was
maybe i lacked awareness
and i implemented a block
now my eyes are open
and on the door i hear a knock
it opens up to a view –
of the past and a damaged reality
i know now,
of my previous toxicity

James Garratt – Thursday 28th April 2022

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More poems from 2022 here

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