Surrounded i am surrounded but there is no surrender i am hounded and it is by, my own wicked insecurity … More

the body is young
but the mind with its memories
act like layers in the earth
each layer a different time

i do not want to be part of the rat race
i do not want to be part of a crowd
i would rather be flying
i would rather be part of a bird race

i double dared myself
to almost drown in them
now i sit by the pool
wondering if for all that time
i was just a fool

i feel responsible
because my inner parts
often feel
badly stitched together

should i look back
under,
some kind of duress
view my memories on a different format
blueray, betamax or vhs

i guess,
i always assume that my un-wellness
destroys everything beautiful –
that is ever found

it is not success
it is arrogance
except arrogance is misplaced pride
and it will not back down

why don’t you understand
why don’t you know
and then, that rising panic
that grips you and does not let go

the cage door is open
but i am chained to the wall
i cannot find the key
actually… i cannot find the chain