To Tell the Truth – Written Monday 17th August 2020 (Aged 45)

To Tell the Truth

sometimes i am sitting in a place –
and i feel alien
disconnected and not quite there
i hear voices around me
and it is a struggle to care
i am not part of the fabric –
the picture or even its frame
it feels like a stage production
where the credits do not mention my name

as i sit there lost inside
i hear the sounds of life around me
meaningful and real
but i feel like an alien
as i am floating elsewhere
they can treat you poorly
and still, still they expect you to care
my headspace feels vast
in terms of its daydreaming space

sometimes i am just sitting here
it could be anywhere or just another
if i were to tell the truth
the detachment i feel –
started when i was only small
it started when my dad –
started having multiple affairs
and my mum could only ever collapse
as she reached out for love and care

sometimes i am sitting in a place
i am physically there
but it is like i have already packed my case
i struggle to find the due care
when they clearly do not like my taste
in these moments –
i am in another world
and i do find myself far away
just like when i was a small child
pretending to sleep or daydreaming away the days




James Garratt – Monday 17th August 2020


More poems at
https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/


More about this blog, The Boy Behind the Glasses, here
 https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/2020/01/08/the-boy-behind-the-glasses-an-introduction/ 


More poems from 2020 here
 https://theboybehindtheglasses.com/category/poems-and-writing-2020/

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