Unmade Roads – Written Thursday 3rd March 2016 (Aged 41)

Unmade Roads

i think i will let it go
you know, as you grow
family ties can tighten
i am, hopefully, more enlightened
you attempt to take part
but you are only offering up,
broken pieces of your past
i can never be any particular version of me
whether it is version one or five
or a version without virtues
the type that almost consumed me alive
and i know,
i am always partly broken
because i always trudge across unmade roads
with tollbooths and unknown tokens
i feel the crystal heat of disappointment
and the self esteem flat in our ovens
but i think i will let it go
lambasted for achievement,
lambasted for none
it has always felt like russian roulette
with every chamber of gin,
loaded up to the hilt
adulthood and family ties
underpinned by childhood shame and guilt

James Garratt – Thursday 3rd March 2016

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More poems from 2016 here

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