if you’d had friends
when you were sixteen
if only you had friends now
if only you’d had, ‘girly chats’
at the age when we really dream

you will never really feel
and always be,
somehow numb
the last to understand the joke

throwing a ball
to an excited dog
whose name –
appears to be tara

the scent of your pillow
lingers after you have left

this is life
and that is what you do
desperately hoping
the children will hide the truth

another product
from the housewife production line
first invented circa 1880 or thereabouts
another product
of the, play your part brigade

or the type
they drip feed you in school
where they expect us to confirm –
to unexplained rules

the deepest tragedy of all
is that all you wanted
was just within your grasp
perhaps the glare was too much
maybe it made your heart beat too fast

the love i never had
the love that you gave
and you continue to do

i love you
but your anger
and frustration at the work
leaves me helpless